Childless in Pandemic

It started pretty early.

Sometime around early March the memes, the tweets, and the thirty second soundbites began.

“I’m so jealous of my friends without kids.”

“Life in pandemic must be so much easier for y’all who don’t have kids at home.”

“I wish I could spend pandemic baking bread and binging Netflix.”

“I mean you really don’t have anything to complain about.”

The lines had been drawn, and the implications were clear. The only experiences that mattered were those of parents with young children at home. The rest of us needed to suck it up, because how bad could this really be?

I want to stop here to say this clearly and without exception. Parents, y’all are warriors. I am in awe of you. You have weathered these months with courage, grace, care, humor, compassion, and more. You have made impossible choices about school, and more. You have loved your babies, and each other. You have built support networks, pods, improv childcare, and more, and more. You are amazing! The fissures and faults in the system are not a reflection of your parenting. You’re doing a good job at a hard thing.

And, this story isn’t that one. It belongs to those of us with aching infertility that is amplified by pandemic. It belongs to those of us…